Ages & stages

On this Page: Preschoolers & Kindergarten through third grade (5-8 years old) | Grades four through six (9-11 years old) 
Grades 10-12 (15-17 years old) | What to do?
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Ages & Stages for parenting in drug use prevention

The following ideas are age-specific, but you may use many of the tips under each age group with older youth.

Preschoolers

check Talk a lot about what it means to keep your body healthy, including healthy food, exercise, brushing teeth etc.
check When your child becomes frustrated, or makes poor decisions that are against the rules, take time to help him problem-solve and connect his decisions to the consequence. This will strengthen his decision-making skills early on.
check Point out dangerous household chemicals and medications, and introduce the “poison” idea.
check If you are a smoker, make the wise decision to quit or smoke away from your child. Your role modeling at this early age will affect your child. Even though you smoke, let your child know how dangerous it is, and that you do not want them to.

Kindergarten through third grade (5-8 years old)

checkContinue to encourage healthy decisions.
checkExplain the idea of addiction – that drug use can become a very bad habit and harmful to the body.
checkExplain how foods, poisons, medicines and illegal drugs differ.
checkTell your child that adults drink, but children may not, even in small amounts – it’s harmful to children’s developing brains and bodies.
checkGet involved and stay involved and connected with your child.
checkGet to know the parents of your children’s friends.
check Learn about the current laws and school policies regarding alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
check Teach them the immediate and long term affects of drug use.
check Make your rules about alcohol, tobacco and other drug use very clear to your child.
check Begin to rehearse potential scenarios in which friends offer drugs. Talk specifically about peer pressure in all areas of the child’s life.
checkMake if very clear that you are on their side and will be with them.
checkGet your child involved in activities outside of school. Encourage them, take them, get them signed up.
checkArrange to have your child looked after and engaged from 3-5pm. This is a time when your child will be exposed to substances, and the possibility of using drugs will go up.
check Call parents whose home is to be used for a party.
check Make it easy for your child to leave a place where substances are being used.
check Set curfews and enforce them. It’s not pestering, it’s parenting.
check Encourage open dialogue with your children about their experiences. Tell your
child, “I love you and trust you, but don’t trust the world around you, and need
to know what’s going on in your life so I can be a good parent to you.”
check Act on your suspicions. If you sense that your child is using drugs, or has radically changed behavior, seek help immediately. Your instinct is most likely accurate.

Grades four through six (9-11 years old)

check Get involved and stay involved and connected with your child.
check Get to know the parents of your children’s friends.
check Learn about the current laws and school policies regarding alcohol, tobacco and other drugs.
check Teach them the immediate and long term affects of drug use.
check Make your rules about alcohol, tobacco and other drug use very clear to your child.
check Begin to rehearse potential scenarios in which friends offer drugs. Talk specifically about peer pressure in all areas of the child’s life.
check Make if very clear that you are on their side and will be with them.
check Get your child involved in activities outside of school. Encourage them, take them, get them signed up.

Grades ten through 12 (15-17 years old)

All of the tips for grades 7-9 apply here too.
check Allow your discussions to go deeper into how drug use does not mix with pregnancy, the deadly affects of combining drugs, how addiction can hit anybody, and the link of violence with drug use.
check Help your teen understand that you will be there for him, to talk about his own potential use, and that of a friend of his.
check Talk to your teen about how to avoid potentially dangerous situations that may put him in the path of alcohol and other drug use.
check Love and hug your child, play with them. It’s your child’s job to let you know that they are independent and do not “need you”. It is your job to not believe that message and stay connected anyway.

What if the answer is “yes?” Your child is using alcohol and/or drugs?

In a small percentage of cases, parents can work with their own kids to get them to stop. This might be easiest when the young person is just using occasionally, to have a good time.

Of course, the earlier you start talking to your children about alcohol and/or drugs, the better the chances are they won’t become involved with them.

If a child reaches the age of 20 without using alcohol, tobacco or marijuana, the probability is almost zero he or she will ever develop a serious drug problem.

If you have questions or concerns about alcohol, tobacco or other drug use in your child or family, call the Adolescent Resource Center at 586-5908. You will be able to talk to someone who can help give you good, confidential, and caring information.
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