Parenting Tools
A Resource Guide For Parents & Families
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Meet
the mythical perfect parent . . .
Who is she?
Just who is she, this phantom sage
Who sets the rules for every age?
Her curfew�s always later than
The one you�ve set, and her kids can
Go places your are not allowed,
And mingle with a faster crowd;
They get permission you�d refuse,
And get to wear the clothes they choose;
Her children are not given chores,
But get more money than yours;
What is her name, and where�s she from,
This "Everybody Else�s Mom?"
Mary Margaret DeAngelis
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Now consider a different reality . . .
Yes Virginia, There are Functional Families!
Virginia Satir, pioneer in family therapy, was the first to describe a healthy, happy
family and the poor coping strategies of families caught in dysfunction.
Nowadays everyone seems to come from a dysfunctional family that dealt with the
hard knocks of life by creating more confusion and pain.
Satir taught congruence and straight communication skills as a way of stopping the
unhappiness that some families create down through the generations. . .
So what is a functional family? Is there such a thing as a functional family?
Read the full article.
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Refresh your
parenting tools . . . |
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What Tools Have You Used
From Your Mental Health Tool Box This Week?
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 Watched problematic feelings as they came up. Called them by name.
Interrupted them.
Sought input from friends, an appropriate helping professional, or wrote about
your feelings.
Problem-solved difficulties and issues. Looked for self defeating beliefs under
chronic issues.
Made amends to anyone you hurt. Remembered love is being big enough to say
you are sorry.
Listened to constructive criticism. Increased self esteem by learning something
useful.
Interrupted your self-defeating thoughts.
Let others take responsibility for their problems. Dealt with guilt and needing to
intervene.
Refused to take on the put downs of others. Asserted self and set appropriate
boundaries.
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To Teach Children These Skills You Must Use Them Yourself!
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Accepted your angry feelings and expressed them in safe, appropriate
ways.
Looked at a shadow part of self. Owned your projections of anger at
others.
Caught stress build up that preceded addictions use.
Felt the highs of addiction and called it by name. Observed how
addictive
behavior was rationalized.
Stayed with uncomfortable feelings to understand them instead of using a
substance or activity to deaden pain.
Used stress management techniques of deep breathing, meditation, progressive
relaxation, etc . . .
Observed self judging and criticizing others. Broke into control issues and looked
at own problems.
Felt good about achieving self growth and personal power rather than trying to
fix others.
Focused on respecting others. Enjoyed or accepted differences rather than
judging them.
Felt universal connection with others. Felt lovable and expressed that love to
others.
When confused, turned to the Higher Self or prayer for answers.
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Remember, no matter what the confusion, love is always the answer.
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-Other Parenting Resource Pages -
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Adolescent Resource Center
(406) 586-5908
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